Esther Barnes
English Theme
January 23, 1933
I presume that you all know what I am talking about when I mention jig-saw puzzles. I have yet to find a person who doesn’t know something about them. May I warn you that unless you wish to become a raving maniac, or commit suicide, or do something else irrational, don’t start to work on one. As far as I am concerned it is practically an impossibility to finish one.
What this country needs at the present time is easier jig-saw puzzles. The ones now in circulation are entirely too complicated and nerve-racking to furnish satisfactory amusement. Allow me to suggest that the legislatures of the state pass laws prohibiting the manufacture and sale of such detrimental puzzles. One has only to look at the daily papers to see the results of this maddening pastime. “Jig-Saw Puzzles Drive Man Insane,” “Man Shoots Self Over Jig-Saw Puzzles,” “Woman Divorces Husband Because of Jig-Saw Puzzles.” Just at this minute I glanced at the newspaper and what did I see? “Most original Valentine gift in years! Have a jig-saw photo-puzzle made—it’s the perfect Valentine gift.” Why, even I myself, burned a perfectly good cake to a crisp—all because of this puzzle mania.
The main trouble is the once you get started on one it is quite impossible to stop until it is completed. That’s why people are divorced because of them. A person becomes so engrossed in a puzzle that he loses all interest in everything else. He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t work—all because of his jig-saw puzzle. One can sit for hours, yes, even days, at a time without finding so much as one single, little piece that will fit. Nothing is quite so maddening as to work two days and three nights on one and then find, upon completion, that one piece in the center is missing. No wonder there are suicides, murders, and divorces over them. The first person that gives me a jig-saw photo puzzle of himself might as well sign his death warrant.
I tell you, folks, this country has gone to the jig-saw puzzles! Everywhere you go, what do you find? Nothing but jig-saw puzzles! Everytime anyone phones, what do they want? Have you worked “Wild Horses”, or do you know anything about “The Battle of Bunker Hill?” And speaking of “The Battle of Bunker Hill” reminds me that I have to finish working it before I can relax myself and go to bed.
Teacher’s comment: Ex